Human BEing vs. Human DOing

I keep “to-do” lists. Sometimes a few “to-do” lists. I have them about work, personal things and just about anything I want or need to get done. Anyone else? If you are like me, I have a question for you…When was the last time you completed everything on your to-do list, really completed EVERYTHING on any/all of your “to-do” lists? Often, as soon as I cross something off, I can add 3 more things to the list. We live in a world of doing…things that need to get done, adulting responsibilities, child care, family obligations, needs for work, chores, housework, meetings, phone calls, doctors appointments, and the list goes on. While all of the above may be good things, some very good and enjoyable things, they can still leave us in a chronic state of doing/going/hustling to get it all done. Sometimes this list of to-do’s can get me lost in my daily routine, I can go on autopilot moving from one task to the next, one event to the next. I think many of us have excelled at “human doing.”

So how do we lean into the being part of humanity? What is being and how is it different than doing? Being is a state of existence or the essence of a person. Being isn’t about accomplishing a task or efforts to reduce the number of items on the “to-do” list. It is about being present. It is about existing in this very moment, the only moment we have. Now, here. Consider for a moment, when do you feel most like yourself? Most connected to yourself? Can you remember a time you set the “to-do” list down and just allowed yourself to linger between tasks? Maybe linger in little moments of calm or joy; the taste of your first cup of coffee for the day, the sweet laugh of your child, a beautiful sunset/sunrise? Can you remember a time you felt connected to yourself and had time to just breathe? Here are some ideas to connect more with the human being in you!

First, you might need to redefine “doing” or for me, “being productive” as a necessity to any “good day.” While I like being productive, task accomplishment feels good and is important to be a responsible adult, I can view productivity in a way that neglects self-care as productive. Yes, I will say that again…self-care is an act of productivity too! “Being” can be active as well. It doesn't have to be sitting still and thinking of nothingness. It can be anything that is life giving to you, where you feel connected to your body, fully present in the moment. It could be a yoga class, gardening, building something in the garage, going for a walk, looking at nature.

Second, make a change. Start with one change, you can always add more changes. While we will always have things to get done, we can find a balance between being and doing.

1. Give yourself permission to focus on just “being.” Take some deep breaths, look out the window and take in what you see, trees, buildings, the sound of birds or the scent of coffee brewing.

2. Identify what makes you feel like yourself, when you feel calm, grounded and relaxed.

3. Make a schedule with “human being” time scheduled in; this could be as little as 5 minutes to start. It’s ok to add this to your “to-do” list if it will help!

4. Keep the scheduled time with yourself. Often it is our own time we sacrifice for others. It is not selfish to practice self-care. If I am not healthy, I can not be my best for the people around me.

5. Find activities that are life giving, just for the sake that you enjoy them and not multitasking (not that they also are productive like doing the laundry while listening to music; just listen to the music).

6. If you can engage your 5 senses in the experience, it will be that much more rich and fulfilling. Connecting to your 5 senses can help ground you in the present moment quickly and intentionally.

Allow yourself to be present, mindful and linger in a few moments for yourself. Allow yourself to be a human being. This will benefit you, and those around you!